Independence?

unsure of what I want

even moreso of what I need

knowing what my hopes are

is all I've really got

hoping for acceptance

wanting to be on my own

fighting for independence

but so afraid to be alone

afraid of what's ahead

avoiding those of my past

so tired of being led

my life is going too fast

Happy, Not Really

I am kind

I am sweet

I am the happiest

unhappy person

you will ever come meet.

But that would make me happy

wouldn't you think?

New Days.

I wander in the past

feeling loved and nurtured.

As the years go fast

I fear the future

and what's to come.

I dread not knowing,

but that won't stop the sun

everyday from glowing.

So I awake to face the day

with my head held high

because who is to say

that today I won't die.

Literature in the Marketplace

A woman by the name of Dickinson

wrote as if to maintain her health.

In a way, she simply wrote for fun.

She wrote not for fame, but life itself.

Most managed a meager living.

Life was tough for a writer though.

Always pressed for cash and drinking,

was the life of sir Edgar Allan Poe.

And then there were those,

those much like Emerson,

spoken words are what they chose

and so came the rise of lyceum.

Thus, through poetry and stories of fiction;

along with novels full of sentiment

through powerful lectures spoken with conviction

even in newspapers through the discontent.

And through the 18th century

you can certainly see

the developing of space

for literature in the marketplace.

Amazing Poem (Not by Me)

Cold as winter; strong as stone;

She faced the darkness all alone.

A silver goddess; a reflection.

A mirage; a recollection.

No return; no turning back.

The past is gone, the future, black.

Serpents gather in their nest.

And she stands above the rest.

Shadows hunt; she hunts the shadow.

The moon is risen; she stands below.

She views her world through the eyes of others.

Black and white; there are no colors,

As she looks down upon a shattered youth.

A shattered mirror shows a shattered truth.

-From the book the Shattered mirror

By Amelia Atwater Rhodes

incomplete... :P

I have many dreams, aspirations.
So when I'm feeling discouraged
I think of family, my inspirations,
and I begin to feel encouraged.

I know not what my future will hold,
but I'm sure it will all work out
because as my life starts to unfold
I realize what life's all about.

I see now that I've been ungrateful
towards the many sacrifices made.

and I have never taken the time
to say thank you for





For Mom, Tita Liza, Tita Cathy.

Ice Sculpture. 1st Place!

I try not to cry for
it's how I was raised.
so I hold it all in...
as if I was never fazed.

Nothing in life comes easily.
Life can't be put on hold.
And all I want to do is breath,
but my lungs, my heart is cold.

They've shaped me how they wanted
and they say it was out of love,
but I always feel so empty inside.
Is ice what my heart's made of?

For this is no trait inherited.
This feeling so cold in my heart...
Maybe I'm just an ice sculpture,
their cold and hollow work of art.

One day I am going to melt
or perhaps I may even shatter.
I just know someday I will break,
so what does it even matter?

My Life.

I live a great life for I love life.

To me it's simply a stage;
a journey that I must overcome;
being trapped in a wide open cage.
A life I shouldn't have to outrun.

My life is one to embrace;
full of fears that I must face,
but why must I face them alone?
For fear in the mind
is a kingdom to be overthrown.

By Mara Jhozel Almanzor
Written 5/28/10, 4th Period

whaaat? incomplete

What happens when you try looking forward

but all you see is your past?

You keep running from what you left behind,

but it's impossible when its right there in front of you.

You reach out but its cold

you try to look at the bigger picture

but there are cracks... in this mirror

All you see in front of you are the things you left behind

you see a broken face in a broken mirror

almost impossible to put together

if you [let it crash and shatter]

then it'll hurt just picking up the pieces

so turn around and face your problems

to preserve what really matters.

L--- at first sight...?

Your eyes on me.

Hand on my knee.

My heart flutters...

my mouth stutters.

I am afraid to speak.

I have reached the peak.

It is your heart I seek.

unfinished

i loved you
but i didn't know it
at the right time

now its too late
and i don't care
but maybe its fate
and if it is
its just not fair

because i need you
i have to have you
i just can't live without you

-------------------------------------------

Somedays
I embrace the sun...
I tolerate the rain..
hoping some light
will shine through this pain
but on days it snows
i stay home...
i stay in bed...
nobody knows
trying to find some warmth
and fend of the cold
a man tries to explain this weather...

-----------------------------------------

Think too much
or think not enough
either way
it makes life tough

you should
think then act
but when you act
it's hard
to forget the fact

maybe i'm overthinking

i wish they'd stop
drinking.

Heroism.

An ordinary man can be a hero
for a hero is just a man.
A man of many strengths;
readily willing to take a stand.

This is a man who does right
and expects nothing in return.
Over a matter of time he has to learn
heroism is a thing to be earned.

Heroism isn’t something to be sought after.
Its part of the character you make of yourself.
It’s a number of choices and decisions you make
that concern more than just the man himself.

Some In-completes.

did you know

that i cant

live without

you

did you care

that they said

we cant go

anywhere

did you know

that i feel

the same

way

or do you deny

all the things

that i say

------------------------------------------------------------

i could tell you that i needed you today

i could tell you that you're everything to me

i could tell you that your all that i can say

but i won't

because i can't lie to you, baby

not today

im so sorry

------------------------------------------------------------

I sit in class

and he drones on

and on

and on

and on...

about things

that just don't interest me.

I want to fly

through the open air

of the blue, blue sky.

I dream

in a stream

of hopes.

Climbing ropes

to my success.

Friend of a Friend.

I have this friend.

His name is Will.

That day we met,

I felt a chill.

Met at a track meet.

He could run miles.

My heart flutters,

everytime he smiles.

He was going to leave,

so I tried to stall.

The first thing noticed

was that he was tall.

We go to different schools

and chances are slim

that we'll ever meet again.

Just me and him.

My Friend.

Crying tears of joy,

tears of sadness.

Crying and knowing

that you called

because you knew,

because you are

my best friend.

You are important.

You're very existence

has changed the lives

of many.

This is to you.

A poem

with little

to no rhyme.

You deserve not a dime,

but all the money

in the entire world

could never be

equivalent

to how much you

or your friendship

is worth.

Thank you.

My friend.

Acrostic - Butterfly.

Beautiful creatures.

Underestimated at times.

Tis a child one day.

Twill grow the next.

Everyday is a new day.

Really just a chance to grow.

For every day you live...

Life is your cocoon.

You are a butterfly, so fly.

OLD - You make me want to believe...

I remember seeing you just the other day,

right across from my front yard.

You make me want to believe,

but I can't; I'm too emotionally scarred.

I remember the way you'd say hi to me,

when you'd catch me running down the halls.

You make me want to believe in love,

but my heart is trapped within concrete walls.

I remember the way things used to be,

before the night of February 8th.

You make me want to believe,

but how can I when I've lost all faith?

I remember the storm on that night.

On that night my faith was lost.

You make me want to believe in true love,

but how much would that cost? [...my heart?]

OLD - Untitled - Life...?

I understand that life is difficult,

and in truth, living is actually optional,
but in a world such as ours,
you need to continue to be rational.

Life is a gift that we've been given
and there has to be some sort of reason.
Life isn't just some sports game;
you can't just sit out a season.

Life isn't easy, not even at the start.
We are born into the world crying
but it's proof that we're alive.
Then in the end, we leave, dying.

The way your life turns out,
in the end, is really all up to you.
It's hard but you've gotta keep on goin'.
Trust me, you'll make through.

OLD - Untitled.

Tell me why the sun shines brighter,

while that good man’s heart begins to dim?

Can you tell me why our worlds so cruel?

Our world that grows to be a place so grim.

We all know this battle has to stop.

There is no love or compassion anymore.

And it’s hard see the good in people,

when you can see the destruction of this war.

Negotiate using words as ammunition,

you don’t need guns to make an agreement.

Relax and just put away your weapons.

Don’t fight because you think it’s convenient.

Peace is all we need in the world,

so could you try to find it in your heart,

and not in those exploding bombs,

that people use to tear this country apart.

OLD - Heart&Key.

I sat on the sidewalk,

crying in the rain...

Our eyes locked for a moment,

and you saw my pain.

On that sorrowful day,

I was truly afraid.

I locked away my heart,

but you offered me a trade.

You asked for my heart,

or rather, the key...

You swore never to hurt me,

and you wouldn't tear it apart.

My hands had been shaking.

My eyes red from tears,

but I handed it over,

despite all of my fears.

You took me on an adventure

and set my solemn heart free.

Now after all this time...

You still have my heart.

You've kept your promise,

and never have we been apart.

OLD - Fourteen Years Father.

Recently I've turned fourteen.

Nothing seems different or new.

A part of me feels missing.

Your gone and it's obviously true.

Never have we met before,

but now I will be trying.

After fourteen years,

some long years of crying.

I always did wonder,

if you left me by choice??

I haven't seen your face,

or ever heard your voice.

I wish to seek out my father,

Just to tell him, “Goodbye."

Sorry that I left Mother,

but you know that I have to try.

OLD - Build Me A World.

I feel nothing in this world,

not one thing, not at all.

I under go no emotions,

even as you see tears fall.

Can't you hear my cries for help

or the pounding of my feet?

Can you describe the way it felt?

The feeling of my heart beat.

Could you fill this world with people

who won't talk about you from afar?

People who won't ignore you

for whom you really are.

Build me a world I can escape to,

a world where we can be free.

a world that's worth the emotion,

a world where I can be me.

OLD - Unspoken.

I'm sorry for being so late.
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner,
but I didn't want to do or say
something that I’d later hate.

You said a few simple words
and I completely shut down.
I didn't know what to say
until it was time to leave town.

I blamed my defense mechanism,
but I know it was my own fault.
I couldn't bring myself
to just say the words and tell him.

I thought that my heart
couldn't handle a rejection,
but now we're too far apart
to even make a connection.

And now my heart is broken.
"I can't get you off my mind,"
the words I could've spoken
now remain unheard by all mankind.

Cheesy.

His arms wrapped around me,

his lips, his eyes, his hair...

Everything about him amazes me

and I cannot help but stare.

The way his heartbeats,

his words, his mind…

I think a guy like this

is certainly hard to find.

What does he see in me?

I know what I see in him.

With him I can laugh and smile.

He makes a bad day less grim.

I tend to not open up to many.

He is different from all the rest.

He is someone who I can talk to.

Not one word can describe him best.

I feel that this poem is cheesy,

but what can I do? I fell for him.

Cheesiness is just a side effect.

I'm done fighting. I'm giving in.

Rain.

Yesterday I felt cleansed;

today my pain deepens.

Drip, drop, drip, drop.

Feel it starting to rain?

Some days it can be cleansing;

&others it's quite depressing.

Pitter, patter, pitter, patter.

Down goes the rain...

Shattered.

This sheet of glass, this mirror...

I see my reflection, shattered.

I see myself and realize

I've forgotten all that mattered.

When one is trying to live

is there a way that is wrong or right?

There are no directions to life

or rules when you decide to fight.

I told myself that I wouldn't.

I wouldn't care and I wouldn't cry.

Now that there's no one, I realize

this is a hard life to live by.

Life is a game of golf...

Life is a game of golf.

You can start at one

or work the back nine,

but keep moving forward.

You can go up to the tee

or you can wait in a line...

I would go up and hit

even if the flag, I couldn't see.

I could hit it right down the fairway

or risk hitting the trees,

but that's what life's composed of...

taking risks and taking chances.

So I'll drive as hard as I can

as if nothing is in my way

and be the best that I am

then play better the next day.

OLD - My Night Flight.

When I go to bed at night,

my imagination takes flight.

In my mind, I am soaring.

I see a sky that is worth adoring.

And when I hear you calling,

I start unwillingly falling...

Then when you catch me,

I know that I am safe.

And one day we will meet

all because of faith.

Stop Thinking.

I do not wish hearts broken...

Could this be what I think it is?

I have forgotten this feeling...

I need to stop thinking like this.

Though I know I cannot;

I wish to see him everyday.

Even when know I should,

I cannot seem to stay away.

I am comfortable to speak

because I do not have to hide.

There is something about him

that makes me very happy inside.

Falling vs. Love.

Falling is the easiest part,
but deciding whether or not
love resides within the heart
is the hardest part to me.

How do you know it's love?
Is it something you should fight?
Would you know when
it's wrong or when it's right?

I know myself better than anyone else...
And so I have a tendancy to fall easily
which makes love that much more scary.

Untitled.

Was today but a dream...

I don't know what it was,

but I don't want to wake up

or fall asleep...

My mind is fighting

the flow of this flooded stream

of mixed emotions.

Falling is scary because you never know

when or if you'll hit rock bottom.

But I know that when I'm with you

this happiness... this me, is true.

Writer's Block.

Some more of the incompletes from yesterday/last night...

-------------------------------------------

I can't pretend

that I don't believe

in the end. the end. the end.

I can't forget

the mistakes made.

The regret, regret, regret.

-------------------------------------------

Do I need a million friends?

No. I just need one

who will stay by me

til the world ends.

Do I need to fall in love...

-------------------------------------------

Time Lost.

For a time
I forgot.

I forgot
how to write.

I forgot
how to feel.

For a time
I forgot
how to love
and
who to trust.

For a time
I felt lost.
I lost time.

For a time,
time just stopped.

For a time
there was no one.

That time
has come & gone,
but there was
a time.

Once upon
at time...

Last Days.

If yesterday was the last yesterday,
would you have any regrets?

If today were the last today,
would you have unfinished 'projects?'

If tomorrow were the last tomorrow...
would you be willing to forget,
the regrets of your last yesterday,
and finish what you started today?

Live life like there's no tomorrow
and leave nothing unfinished.

Try to live, but don't forget...
you don't want live a last today in regret.

The Incomplete.

Below are two things that I've managed to start, but not complete. Does it mean something?
-------------------------------------------

Someone asked on day if I existed.
Then I asked do you see if within the word life?
Life is full of if's.
Isn't life practically one big if?
These questions persisted.

-------------------------------------------

What am I doing?
That is the question of the day.
Or is it of life?
Why can't this all just go away.

-------------------------------------------

Suffocating.

The little time life gives me in a day,
won't allow me to relax.

It feels like I'm just throwing my life away
while I sit in class searching for the facts.

Fact is life isn't going to slow down.
Not for you, not for anybody.

I'm stressed.
I'm in distress.
I'm suffocating
trying to breath
when I feel the need to scream.

I want to break free
but I'm afraid of falling
from this tree
that my family
has grown before me.

Keep Your Dreams Alive.

Written Sept. 9th, 2009. 2am.

In what others think, you perceive.
When in yourself, you should believe.

Don't let their words,
their thoughts get to you.

Just think or speak,
or write words of your own;
straight from the heart.
You'll be surprised you're not alone.

Be one of the few
to keep your dreams alive.

& always remember
to never, never, never

be brought down from your cloud
only to drown in this crowd
of broken hearts and faded dreams

when there is nothing left,
it only seems.

The Silence

You think too hard…
Breath. Think. Listen.

Do you hear the silence?
Can you feel
those cries for help?
In the silence;
The quiet of a library;
The tension of
a test-taking class;
The roar of the subway;
The talk of the crowd.
Can you hear the cries
through the commotion,
so loud?

Take a minute
and look around.
Just don’t think
as your legs hit the ground.

Relax & pay attention.
Listen and feel.
For the very first time,
can you understand…
the silence?

Love Motivation&Inspiration

Written Jan. 2nd, 2010. 9:40pm.
For those who inspire and motivate me through life...

it really is appreciated. (:

I used to think I was living in a world of hurt,
but I have learned that if there is any love
there is nothing in the world that has to hurt.
So to take away the pain love is my choice of drug.

There were days when I felt so blinded,
but the people I love believed in me.
Sometimes you just have to be reminded
to believe in yourself and be all that you can be.

I learned you don’t have to be so afraid
if you get lost or just can’t find your way.
You’ve friends and family to come to your aid
And they’re by your side, here to stay.

Then there are days I feel I don’t deserve them.
I wonder why they bother to stick by my side,
but they’re always there and that’s alright
because one day they’ll need me
and everything I will put aside.

My friends and family are the things I truly love
and love is the drug to take away my fears.
They inspire me to go above and beyond,
but they motivate me to live through the years.

Guardian Angel

Here it goes:

Give us the strength to make a difference.
Understand that we need your help,
Anything could help change the world.
Realize that our planet is dying.
Do we need to have a change of heart?
I realize that some of us are at fault here
And I believe that things need to change.
Now is a better time than never to change.

After a long time of waiting for some sort of answer,
Now is the time we need to take action.
Giving back to our planet is what we need to do.
Eventually we’ll live in a place so beautiful
Like a perfect day in where the angels play. (: